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Part 9: The land lord pilgrimage, and 30 second showers.

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"Fire Sun" (c) 2026, J.B. Sommerset Welcome back, and big sigh of relief, we made it through fire season! Well most of us did, a lot of people lost their homes this year, especially over there in Spokane. The worst part was that one of those fires was started by an arsonist. As promised, here it is more of my story.  To catch up, here's Part 8: To homeless or not to homeless...   And if you need more than that, here is the start of all this, Part 1: "How I wound up on this mountain..."   If you are current, below is Part 9 , it gets weirder, not as weird as "American flag Speedo man", but still pretty damn weird.  After the pilgrimage to Clarkston, and the handing over of $3500.00 to someone who had way more money than us, we were given the keys and the lease agreement, which was month to month (kind of unheard of, and very  nice in this day and age where subscriptions and fiscal chains are all we know), we were set to move in. We closed around 3 days ...
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Part 8: To homeless or not to homeless...

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  "The Sunflower stow away" (c) 2026 J.B. Sommerset Welcome back again, it's been a minute. So, here it is more of the story about me and the mountain.  To catch up, here's part 7: " "The toilette paper-apocalypse and the lung-butter that comes with it." " And if you need more than that, here is the start of all this, Part 1: "How I wound up on this mountain..."   If you are current, below is Part 8  of this odyssey, my journey to get away from people because most of them suck. I mentioned in the last post that one of the things that helped us build up here in this remote location was that I landed a GIS job working on "cadastral mapping", now before you say "Jesus dude, hike you glasses up a little further you fucking nerd!", let me explain... Okay, never mind that's fair. Here's the TLDR on what that means.  Cadastral mapping is the detailed recording, defining, and mapping of property boundaries, land owners...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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Part 7: So you think you can inflation? No houses anywhere!

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"The Road" (c) 2025 J.B. Sommerset  Welcome back ya'll. This is the story of how I came to be living up here in the woods on this mountain.  To catch up, here's part 6: " "The toilette paper-apocalypse and the lung-butter that comes with it." " And if you need more than that, here is the start of all this, Part 1: "How I wound up on this mountain..."   If you are current, below is Part 7 . I honestly have no idea how long this unrefined drivel will continue. The only way to find out is to continue. Here's where we're at, back in the day, which wasn't that long ago, but feels like it was. It may have been a Tuesday, these things often happen on Tuesdays. In "the day" houses used to be at the very least a little more affordable. You know, "I can afford it now that I'm 40 affordable".   The kind of affordable that you know in 30 years, if you are still alive, you'll have paid off. Just in time to retir...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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Part 6: "The toilette paper-apocalypse and the lung-butter that comes with it."

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"The Little Shroom that Could" J.B. Sommerset (c) 2026 Welcome back readers, to the story of how I came to be living up here in the woods on this mountain.  To catch up, here's part 5: " Serious conversations, room mates, and existential dread... " And if you need more than that, here is the start of all this, Part 1: "How I wound up on this mountain..."   If you are current, below is Part 6 . Well, we all know what happened next. The Pandemic, the "VID 19", the cough that stopped the world. If anything, it affirmed why we wanted to move out to the woods and live in a cabin hidden away with the animals.  It all started in the east, the far east, or so we were told. In a wet-market in China. A place where you can buy all kinds of unsavory meats, perishables, and things that can go bad in horrible ways. Chronic, explosive, diarrhea sort of ways. Anyway, some idiot caught the bug that fucked the world up, not sure how accurate that might be. Som...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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Part 5: Serious conversations, room mates, and existential dread...

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  Garden Cat Spider (c) 2026 J.B. Sommerset Welcome back readers, to the story of how I came to be living up here in the woods on this mountain. To catch up, here is part 4: " How to get rid of Winnebago prostitutes and Tupperware meth. " And if you need more than that, here is the start of all this, Part 1: "How I wound up on this mountain..."  If you are current, below is Part 5 . After we got rid of "American flag Speedo guy" and his "Winnebago prostitutes", we started having more of those life changing conversations about what we really wanted and how to get there. They were the "long into the middle of the night conversations". We both knew we were no longer happy in our little corner house, and we were also not feeling safe.  Just after the lot was vacated, a drunk driver had been traveling east-bound and flipped his car into the neighbors house. They were okay, but the house had to be repaired leaving them with a boarded up hole ...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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Part 4: How to get rid of Winnebago prostitutes and Tupperware meth...

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"Boozy the Bear" (c) J.B. Sommerset If you want to get caught up on the story so far you can read part 3 here:  "Foils in the yard and meth out back" PART 3 , or if you'd like to start at the beginning you can go here: "How I wound up on this mountain..." PART 1 . Back to the story at hand. Where was I, oh yes, American-flag Speedo guy. It was that summer I discovered the depravity of people and how much they will lie to your face in order to keep a scam going. If some of these people worked as hard at an honest job, like they do at scamming people, they'd have some serious, and well earned cash. But some people just can't put their best foot forward no matter how many opportunities they are given. Their default setting, their prime disposition, just happens to be self sabotage. My wife called these dispositions "personality disorders", and she is qualified say to make such a claim. American flag speedo guy sure couldn't resist a ...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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Part 3: Foils in the yard and meth out back...

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The Lonely Cougar (c) J.B. Sommerset 2026 Continued from PART 2: "Hey hon... some dude tried to stab me out in the yard, is our insurance up to date?" Over the next few weeks we talked a lot about that old dream. The one where we sell most of our things and move to the woods. A dream in which get away from it all and make a new life with the wild animals and the trees. We were still kind of joking about it, but also kind of not joking.  After the tattooed miscreant had tried to stab me, "the dream" became a standard conversation in our house. One that got more and more attention as the world became "enshittified" under the Tangerine Mussolini's first attempt at ruining the world. At the time, it wasn't going too good for his diapered ass. Congress and his own incompetence had stifled his forward momentum. But that didn't mean things were hunky-dory, all "gorsh and good times" and shit. No, they were far from that. Most people could fe...
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Location: Pike Place Market, Seattle, WA, USA
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